If the last ten minutes of the previous week’s match against TML Div. 3 team the Pumas were painful, they were as nothing compared with the suffering we endured for eighty minutes against the Swiss Kickers. The gale force winds and driving rain only compounded the misery of a proper football thrashing.
In normal circumstances we quite like the Kickers. I believe the team may have been founded by Marcel Niederhauser’s dad? Marcel’s son, Zak, of course now plays for the Kickers, as do Joe Takeda and my old friend from 20 years back Aoki (though not sadly on this day).
The circumstances however are not normal when you’re on the same pitch as teams like these. The Swiss play in Tokyo Metropolis League Division One and have a few players—the Japanese lads in central mid in particular—whom we found impossible to contain.
That said, the Kickers’ superiority was not as apparent early on as our own woefulness. We looked horribly flat and lazy in the first quarter, yet somehow came out of it on level terms. GK Greg Lyon was the unlikely scorer for the Fives, equalizing with a long punt from a drop kick that held up on the wind before bouncing once over Zak’s head at the Paul Blamire Shed End and into the back of the net. A mighty strike indeed, and our only shot on target in the entire game.
As always though we take positives from the game. We fought to the death and only conceded once in the final quarter, successfully achieving our target of keeping the score down to single figures.
By Alex Hendy
Goals: Greg Lyon
Refs: Should have stopped the fight after 50 minutes.
Two teams turned up to face the mighty Over 35s on this day: one, a crusty looking Japanese side from Yokohama; the other, a pale looking gaijin outfit from the Tokyo Metropolis League.
Head Bluebottle Gordon Deas assessed the flesh warming up on either side of the pitch, weighed his options, and to the confusion of the assembled Over 35s picked for our prey the Pumas. The Japanese lads didn’t look happy, bless ‘em (they duly cancelled the re-arranged fixture at the last moment the following week). Note to Shingo: Don’t forget the Christmas card!
The low autumn sun lent the pitch a metallic sheen, an effect which made our silver-black match ball difficult at times to spot and our blue shirts almost indistinguishable from the black of the ref’s. A good game of football nevertheless ensued.
IFG Pumas, a TML Third Division side and therefore on paper even worse than the Secunds, boasted some decent players, the chunky chaps in central midfield in particular catching the eye. Much of the game was fought out in the middle third, and with both defenses being well organized and physically strong, chances at either end were scarce.
Going forward for the Fives, Will Brady looked lively, his happy mixture of craft and strength always looking our brightest hope for a breakthrough. But it would be Russell Brown who put us in front with a goal that neither side saw coming. Latching on to a Pumas error at the Swimming Pool End, Russell lofted a sublime 20-yarder over their keeper for yet another golden Brown goal from nothing.
1-0, and with the strike coming at the end of the third quarter, a first ever victory for the Fives over TML opposition was suddenly a distinct possibility.
Alas, as is always the risk when dealing with predators, Pumas can attack when cornered. With just 10 minutes to go and the Fives dreaming of the joys to come on our handsome new fur rugs, the Pumas pounced.
And savaged us.
By Alex Hendy
Goals: Russell Brown
Officials: Need to get themselves some nice yellow tops.
Attendance: Eleven-plus grumpy Japanese blokes in tracksuits, for 10 minutes or so.
The Over 35s gathered in the usual circle before this match looking not so much like a squad as a squid, or similar soft-bodied invertebrate. The spine of our regular side was missing, you see—GK Greg Lyon, Captain Gordon Deas, MVP Russell Brown and Golden Slipper Alan Plater were all away—and yet we were still a large, mobile and very tasty-looking cephalapod.
In for Greg in goal came a slightly underage but equally sticky-tentacled Ika Casillas (aka Zak Niederhauser). In central midfield we welcomed back the excellent Patrick “Under My Rock” Newell for his first start this season. In defense, we were delighted to be able to select two of the better players [winks] from the Secunds, Steve Taw and Phil Denham.
Patrick
The Over 35s would like to thank the aforementioned men in particular for answering our Supreme Administrator’s emergency call for legs. In addition to these players, we welcomed into our many slippery limbs debutant Stefano Prandi. Oh, and One Kevin Carden was there too.
Kevin had not been seen inside the white lines of a football pitch since suffering a near fatal case of knee snap at the end of last season, but bravely limped forward on this day for one last Yaguchidai stand before slipping away to Thailand. Our long-serving right back and Tesco frontiersman received a well deserved loud round of applause from the squid before kick off, when prayers were also offered for a big lead in advance of his fourth-quarter introduction.
Our opponent on what was another beautiful autumn lunchtime would be the Marinos Papas, a team founded just a few years previously and comprising fathers of boys in the professional Yokohama Marinos academy. The naive, fun-loving Papas used to be easy prey for the Over 35s, but increasingly have been made of less palatable stuff. Indeed, in the corresponding fixture last season a horribly determined Papas forced a 0-0 draw out of us, a result which marked a low point in modern Over 35s football history. Regular Fives knew that the Papas—expertly coached by the Club’s good friend Kanbayashi-san—would be looking forward to this one, and that we would need to be at our best to prevent a calamarity. [Concentrate.]
We lined up in the usual 4-5-1 formation and steeled ourselves.
Peeep!
GOAL! The Fives raced into an early lead first quarter with a typical piece of quality football from the irrepressible Andrew Barrett, our spearhead on the day in the absence through injury of the Supreme Administrator. AB took control of a well-timed through ball from erstwhile Secunds danger man now Our Man William Brady, rounded the familiar chunky form of the Marinos keeper and coolly slotted in. 1-0
GOAL! Andrew was barely back in his own half when the Papas equalized, a rare moment of confusion in our back four being ruthlessly pounced upon by one of their chaps and noisily celebrated both on the pitch and in the Water Barrel Enclosure, where the home support was outnumbered by a factor of at least 20:1. 1-1.
GOAL! Second quarter and at last we started to boss it. Our superiority was confirmed when another superb long Chris Harrington throw-in was emphatically headed home at the summit of his leap by Darren Buckley. 2-1
Darren, who missed the whole of last season with knee knack, had looked terrific for us on his return, but incredibly would do his other knee late on in this game, and sadly appears set for another long spell on the sidelines. Get well soon, Darren.
The Papas meanwhile were playing their usual tidy game, a high defensive line condensing play in the middle third and asking questions of the pace of our forwards. In attack the Papas lacked the threat of an AB or AP, but nevertheless drew fine performances from each member of our back four, with Boz again playing a blinder and Phil as always oozing class.
GOAL! Andrew Barrett provided an emphatic answer to the aforementioned question of pace in this quarter, brilliantly striking a long pass over the top from Andreas Hirl directly into the back of the net from some forty yards out. Chris Binz would have been impressed.
Bounce. Look up. THUMP! 3-1 What a strike that was! It was the sort of goal the Papas could only dream of scoring, and psychologically if not mathematically it put the game out of the opposition’s reach.
GOAL! And it was that man Barrett again, this time latching onto a fine through ball from marauding Fives’ defender Andreas Hirl before calmly tucking the chance away. 4-1
The Fives completed the scoring in the final quarter with a great GOAL! that began on the edge of our own area, Kevin passing to Darren who released our No. 17 down the right to race on and finish with uncustomary style, sidefooting the chance to the right of the outrushing keeper and just inside the near post. Clinical. 5-1
With the game now surely safe, Kevin was offered the opportunity to play higher up the pitch for the final 10 minutes, the Fives risking three at the back to afford Kevin the opportunity to add to his solitary strike for the Club.
And the Fives fans in the Water Barrel Enclosure stood in thrall when Phil, wide on the left, picked out Kevin at the far stick for what might have been the goal of any season. Phil’s whipped cross brushed off the top of a desperately leaping Kevin’s head, to loud groans of mirth and disappointment in equal measure. Shortly afterwards, Kevin had yet one more chance, albeit a tricky one of a sort that even John Utaka might have spurned. Unfortunately the chance not only went begging but also induced a recurrence of Kevin’s old knee injury and enforced his untimely substitution.
The referee had seen enough, and that was that.
Many thanks again to those who came in to help out, and to the Papas, who stuck around for beers and stuff afterwards and on the pitch maintained their status as the Fives’ favourite opposition (after Johnson & Johnson).
Click to enlarge. For those fortunate enough never to have met him, Kevin is the one with a white boot on the red carpet.
He will never be left on the shelf (unlike Tesco brand tofu…)
By Alex Hendy
Goals: Andrew Barrett (3), Darren Buckley, Alex Hendy
Tullett Prebon Man of the Match: Andrew Barrett
Officials: Good
Attendance: The away support in particular was terrific
In the past I’ve written long reports about our Interport adventures. This year’s report will be short. Don’t think me unkind. Words are hard to find.
De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da:
Tennis: Cancelled (weather)
Badminton: Lost
Mixed hockey: Lost
Firsts: Drawn (2-2)
Over 35s: Lost (2-3)
Darts: Won (10-3)
Snooker: Won (5-2)
Cricket: Cancelled (weather)
KRAC retain the Interport.
Those of you paying attention there will have calculated that a positive result for the Over 35s would have seen the Interport trophy return to its rightful home in Yokohama. For many of the usual reasons when we play Kobe, that wasn’t to be.
Somehow we conceded thrice in this match—on each occasion to attacks on the counter—and were only able to force two goals in reply. The Over 35s by no means played badly and, On Any Other Day, would have ground out the victory. This being the Interport, however, there was a Ghost in the Machine.
Synchronicity
Once again this venerable fixture was marred by poor sportsmanship from one or two of our opponents and by the over-active involvement of the world’s worst linesman. Where oh where do these flaggers come from? I think we should be told.
The KRAC goals you’ve heard enough about already: flukes against the run of play. For the Fives…
Our first (1-2) was a clipped Andrew Barrett effort following great work down our left flank by Sada Hosogai and Gareth Cardiff. This combination looked threatening all afternoon and could well be the source of many more goals in the long season ahead.
Our second (2-3) was a Russell Brown pearler direct from a corner. In his post-match interview, Russell said he had looked up to see nothing obvious on by way of a cross, so went instead for the shot. Yet another classic strike for the Russell Brown Collection.
It’s Alright For You, Russell. YCAC’s No. 17 has rather more difficulty with his shooting. Late in the fourth quarter, having beaten the KRAC offside trap and finding himself bearing down on GK Aftab 30 yards out, yours truly favoured a square-ish ball into the path of the onrunning Gareth in preference to bursting the net with a low piledriver, and duly overhit the pass. It was a golden opportunity to level proceedings, and the silence that followed it left me feeling So Lonely.
The historical record must also show that for the first time in at least a couple of seasons we had a player sent off—a straight red for a mild expression of irritation following a typical piece of niggling provocation from a KRAC player. “Don’t Stand So Close to Me,” AB had appeared to protest, much to the linesman’s apparent annoyance. The whole episode was a near duplicate of the sending off in the Firsts’ game immediately beforehand, when the same linesman came dashing onto the field—giant steps are not what he took—to advise the referee of something-and-nothing similar following an almost laughable act of cynicism from a Kobe player.
Captain Gordon Deas had asked us before kick-off not to get wound up by certain KRAC players’ antics and to respect the officials, but when a linesman is watching Every Breath You Take…
“Roxanne! You don’t have to put up the red card. Roxanne! Walk the pitch for money, you don’t care if it’s wrong or if it’s right….”
There was a little black spot on the sun this day. Throughout the match, the rain fell steadily, heavily, horizontally at times, until suddenly it was all over again.
Bring on the Night
Following the football, comprehensive victories in the darts and snooker (including two wins over the King of Pain) helped ease our suffering before dinner was served in the newly refurbished room that was formerly the library. (When the World is Running Down, You Make the Best of What’s Still Around.)
Sada Hosogai exhibited a bunch of his old YCAC shirts alongside less attractive offerings from Kobe. Vintage YCAC rugby shirts were also on display, some of them washed.
Ancient Interport trophies survived their re-entry into the Earth’s atmosphere, as did some interesting old photo albums of Interport happenings past. Remarkably, Fives’ defender Ippei Iwasaki stumbled across this old picture of the YCAC team he represented in the Interport back in 1969.
1969… Brings us back, rather conveniently, to the subject of the officials.
By Alex Hendy
Goals: Andrew Barrett, Russell Brown
Tullett Prebon Man of the Match: Greg Lyon (that’s two in a row now for GK Greg)
Officials: Linesman had the ref Wrapped Around His Finger
How many YC&AC Second Team players does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they’re used to living in the shadows.
The last two matches between YC&AC’s premier football outfit, the Over 35s, and the Club’s second team, the Secunds, have been close-fought affairs, with little if anything to show between the two sides except for the Over 35s’ all-round superiority and the sheer good fortune of the shadow dwellers.
In October 2009 the Silver Machine was 3-2 in front with just five minutes to go when Karl Hahne popped up in a crowded box and leveled things. Worse, in April this year, the Number Twos’ Matt Wallace struck the only goal of a game dominated by the Fives with barely a minute left to play. A classic case of candlelight robbery.
Perhaps fearing their remarkable run of luck was about to come to an end, on October 2 the Seconds fielded a side half-full of First teamers, among them Dickie Philo, Russ Philp, Ben Montgomery, Simon Carden, Some Other Bloke and Another Chap. All rather disheartening.
The difference in quality, strength and pace from what we are used to from the Seconds was so glaring at the start that we had to shield our eyes and back away. Our defense appeared dazzled any time the ball was lofted into the box. Crosses from the wings that would normally be hacked high into the Yaguchidai sky by our trusty defenders were either ignored entirely or deferentially presented for stuffing into the back of the net. The game was at its first interval by the time our eyes had adjusted to the light, and in the circumstances we were pleased to come in at just 0-2 down.
Revolution, No. 9
Showing the character and team spirit that sets the Over 35s apart from other football teams, we went out second quarter on the offensive. And thrillingly our determination was rewarded early on when a long Chris Harrington throw was flicked on by one of their lads before falling in super slow motion to an unmarked Simon Warburton at the far stick. Our would-be No. 9 timed his leap like a wise old dog on the day’s 10th choccie treat and gobbled up the chance. 1-2.
The goal seemed completely to transform the game.
For the rest of this match we were really very good indeed, snapping into tackles, passing the ball around patiently and probing for the openings. Chances were hard to come by, but on a couple of occasions we might just have equalized. Released down the inside left channel, Andy Barrett shot narrowly wide when he might have squared to an unmarked Alan Plater or No. 17 arriving in the box, and the same No. 17 later hit the crossbar with a cunning left-foot lob over the keeper.
The Seconds meanwhile played their football on the counter, which with their pace and passing skills was at times an effective strategy. We defended from the front however, with the aforementioned Andy and Alan putting in tireless shifts, and at the back held a line that caught the Seconds offside time and time again. When the opposition did break through our defensive ranks, Greg Lyon in goal was more than their equal, rushing out to block at feet and pulling off two or three outstanding saves.
1-2 it finished, then. Well played the Seconds, but even better played the Fives. Once again we can consider ourselves unlucky not to have got anything out of this game, except of course for the usual feeling of moral superiority that is part and parcel of being a Five.
For a vintage motor like the Silver Machine, inactivity over the summer months can lead to irreparable damage. Paint can blister; metal can rust; precision-fit internal engine parts can seize.
So when turning the ignition for the first time in months last Saturday it was a pleasant surprise to hear the familiar sound of 420 silver horses breaking into a canter.
We were just five minutes down the road and cruising towards the swimming pool when Alan Plater notched our first of the new campaign. Will Brady released our lone striker through the middle and Alan finished with customary aplomb.
The wind was in our hair now on what was a beauteous autumn afternoon and, feeling a bit carefree, we eased off the gas and rolled down the roof, all the better to enjoy the view.
Good heavens, look at the pace on their No. 13 as he surges into that wide open space down our left. BOOF! Good shot on him too.
And another one! Something wrong with the alternator here, we’d better get back to the garage.
Oh, what now! A hopeful ball over the top bounces benignly in front of Christopher Binz, who is trotting after it, moderately under pressure, forty yards away from a spectacular own goal.
“You are joking,” says Captain Gordon Deas on the sidelines as CLUNK! Chris skies a clearance of Swedish imagination in the approximate direction of Bobby Houghton’s back garden. The ball bounces once behind GK Grey Lyon before bulging the roof of the net.
1-3 at half-time.
Gordon’s first actions at the interval were to slam down the soft top and yank up the bonnet. Adjustments to the vehicle’s dynamics were implemented, and we went back out firing on all cylinders.
It wasn’t long before Alan made it 2-3 with a typical poacher’s strike at the Paul Blamire Shed End, this following great work down the right from a late-arriving Russell “Cross Country” Brown.
And at the beginning of the fourth quarter, Gordon was rewarded for an industrious overlap run, again down the right, when his cross-cum-shot from close to the byline was caught by Midorigaoka’s stand-in goalie Zak Niederhauser standing a foot or so over the line at his near post. YCAC appeals were loud and celebratory; the linesman duly flagged for the goal.
Victory for the Over 35s now seemed inevitable as Midorigaoka, demoralised, visibly wilted in the face of sustained YCAC pressure.
But the winning goal, when it came, was a bit of a classic, certainly an early contender for goal of the season.
Our No. 17 exchanged passes with Russell down the right before spearing the ball back to Gordon 20 yards out, right-central at the PBSE. Gordon fired the ball into the area first time, shin height at pace towards Alan, ten yards out with his back to goal. Instinctively, one supposes, our Supreme Administrator swiveled onto the shot and sent a brilliant half volley zooming into the bottom right hand corner, just past the outstretched fingertips of Zak, whose fine attempt at a save only made the goal look even better.
4-3 it finished, and it was off to the Breezeway for a precautionary service.
